Thanksgiving is a time when people get together and say that they are Thankful for something or someone one. What are you grateful for? Not possessions or people. Not what you have but who you are. So often, we focus on people, places, and things outside of us and do not focus on ourselves. What about you are you grateful for?
Your sense of humor?
Your height?
You artistic abilities?
You think things through before you respond?
You are spontaneous?
Being Thankful or Grateful is a daily activity not an annual activity. Focusing on what you are grateful about yourself is necessary for your emotional well-being.
People have Gratitude journals in which they write what they are grateful for and often they are grateful for their friends or family, or having a place to live, or having a job. But they usually do not write about themselves. People who write gratitude journals may not feel better because they see everything that they should be grateful for and yet, they still feel awful. Then they start berating themselves for not being grateful.
What they are not writing about is themselves and what about them they are grateful for. Too often, we see our positives as negatives. For example, Susan might think very carefully before she makes a decision and sometimes, she struggles to make decisions and feels stuck. She will see that Greg just spontaneously chooses to do something and she wonders why she can’t be like Greg, and she believes that Greg’s life is easier because he can make spontaneous decisions.
Meanwhile, Greg looks at Susan and appreciates her ability to think before she makes a decision. He views his spontaneous choices as a problem because he will overspend or end up wasting his time doing things that he does not want to do.
If Susan were able to be grateful for her ability to think before making a decision, she could see the benefit in her thinking. If Greg were grateful for his spontaneous behavior, he too could see the benefit in his behavior. In understanding the benefit of our thinking patterns or behaviors we don’t get stuck in the endless loop of berating ourselves and feeling worse about ourselves. When we are not berating ourselves and are elevating ourselves, we are healing and improving our emotional well-being.
If you would like to learn more about how to view your “negatives as positives” reach out to us at Healinghoovestherapy.com. When you’re ready, we’re here.
